Well hello once again, so nice of you to come back every week – and if you do come back every week please feel free to take a moment to say “hi”… I get the feeling I’m talking to myself some days… then again there are days that I do that – hey sometimes you just need expert advice right? 😉
So this weeks offering is another little short – I actually wrote this some time ago but I still rather like it – hopefully someone else will enjoy it too 🙂 Sit yourself down, make yourself comfortable and please have a little read.
Magic
There are still those days when I feel low. When it seems like there is no magic or beauty left in the world. When I feel like giving up.
On days like that I just take a moment to remember him. To remember that first moment when I saw him. To remember that short period of time that changed my life.
It had been a dreadful day, just the kind of day to end an awful week. Week? Who am I kidding, I felt like I had just escaped the month from hell.
I needed something to clear my mind and so on that evening in late summer I found my way down to the beach, watching as the waves gently lapped at the shore, wishing that I could follow their gentle flow away from my life. Although I would never admit it to anyone, it did cross my mind that evening, in the softly fading light, to walk out into the water in search of a final peace.
It was on that beach that I saw him. He seemed to come walking out of the water, although I was certain that he must have approached from further up the shore and I just hadn’t seen him.
The beauty of the man instantly struck me. He had a deeply intense gaze, touched with a hint of sadness. His hair was tousled by the wind; it was difficult to tell the colour with any certainty in the fading light, some shade of a dark blond. Long enough to cover his ears and curl gently over the collar of his light summer jacket.
As he came closer he turned his face towards me with a welcoming smile, his eyes sparkling with the reflection of the sinking sun. I smiled back, unable to tear my gaze away as he passed by. My eyes followed his passage, my head turning to watch his departing back. And then he stopped, turning back to face me. My cheeks flushed as I realised that I had been discovered watching him.
The man threw me another smile before holding out his hand to me. I don’t know what insanity had overtaken me but I quickly ran the few paces along the beach to join him, my hand slipping easily into his, as if it has always belonged there. His fingers curled around mine, his skin was soft and cool, but strong, I felt completely protected in his grip.
He turned, and together we continued his journey along the beach. I don’t know how long we walked. It could have been miles, could have been mere paces. Time and distance held no meaning as we moved in companionable silence, there was no need for words as we walked together in the ever-fading summer sun.
Eventually we stopped, or at least he stopped and I simply mirrored his actions, waiting to be told what to do next as if I had lost the ability, or maybe the need, to think for myself.
His hands were warm as they cupped my face. His skin was soft and his touch gentle. His eyes sparkled as they looked at me, into me, and I felt as if he was the first person who had ever really seen me, maybe the only person who ever would.
I’ll never forget that shade of blue in his eyes. I’d never seen it before and I’ve never been able to find it again and believe me I’ve tried. It was a colour all of its own belonging only in those eyes, belonging only to that man.
When he kissed me it felt as natural as breathing. His mouth touched mine with a gentle intensity that made my whole body tremble and his tongue swept gently over my lips as if I was some delicacy that he wanted to taste.
I didn’t open my eyes as he pulled away from our kiss; it was as if I was trying to hold on to the moment for a little while longer. He spoke to me then, the only words I ever heard him say, in a voice that seemed to be whispering into my soul rather than my ear.
When I opened my eyes he was gone. I looked up and down the beach but there was no sign of him, no evidence that he had just been by my side, no way of knowing that he had ever existed but for the warm feeling still present on my lips.
Three months later I came across his picture. Even though it was in black and white I could still feel the power of the brilliant blue in his eyes and my breath caught in my throat.
As I read the newspaper article my hands began to shake and tears filled my eyes.
The stranger who had captivated me a few months earlier was dead. Drowned and been washed up on the very beach that I had met him. His death had been reported as a suicide due to the note later found in his pocket.
“Sometimes you have to let go to find your way.”
The words chilled me and I could hear them clearly as I had on the day he whispered them into my ear.
For a moment I wondered if that had been the very same day he walked out into the sea, but then I saw the date in the corner of the page.
I was holding an old newspaper that I found whilst clearing away some rubbish. The paper was dated 1987.
There are still those days when I feel low. When it seems like there is no magic or beauty left in the world. When I feel like giving up.
On days like that I just take a moment to remember him. To remember that first moment when I saw him. To remember that short period of time that changed my life because I discovered that there was magic and beauty, you just had to take the time to look for it.
Dawn Delivers 